


you wanted me to let go, so i did

by spanish (cantonese)



Category: AB6IX (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Break Up, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-19 02:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantonese/pseuds/spanish
Summary: it was donghyun's fault he let youngmin slip from his fingers bit by bit.





	you wanted me to let go, so i did

**Author's Note:**

> i always write angst of youngdong im shdjdh but n e ways here's a youngdong "fell out of love" angst that nobody needed :D some parts of it didnt make sense bc idk ive never been cheated on das why stay single lmao jkjk bye

how did they end up like this? he remembers when they were younger; fresh out of college and full of love and full of life. they knew each other when they'd started sharing a hostel, became best friends, and graduated college learning more and more about each other until they can write a book about each other.

youngmin would know what he hates, and he would know what youngmin hates. and if youngmin and donghyun were sold in a supermarket, they'd be a buy one, free one deal. wherever there's donghyun, there's youngmin. and wherever there's youngmin, there's donghyun.

their feelings for each other were long established before they even realised. and on one fateful evening, they'd shared a kiss on the couch and that was the beginning of a whole new path for the two.

from what was an accidental kiss blossomed into a loving relationship between two boys. they'd helped each other at job hunting, cheered each other up when they didn't do well, moved into an apartment together and maybe made love a few times. they were totally in love, and anyone with eyes could easily see that.

a few years after dating, an excited youngmin had gone down on his knee in the park on a day so sunny it hurt their eyes and promised donghyun forever and more. he was young, and he was dumb, so donghyun said yes to a forever with the love of his life.

donghyun knows how youngmin is very friendly with a lot of people. so when a certain park woojin from youngmin's hometown called out to him on the streets on a fine day, donghyun didn't think anything would go wrong. nothing should have gone wrong.

they'd reconnected and contacted each other through kakao talk. youngmin would frequently muse about what woojin had said to donghyun which he replied enthusiastically at first and gradually gets irritated by it. donghyun gets it; woojin is a funny man. but as much as he likes seeing youngmin laugh and giggle at his phone, donghyun would want his husband to pay some attention to him too.

he also should have realised something wasn't right when youngmin's text reply speed decreased significantly with him but he's always texting with someone else when they see each other at home.

their nights spent in each other's arms cuddling and kissing became more like a scheduled task than a willing affection, and the enthusiasm of their 100 days, anniversaries and each other's birthdays were no longer burning nor were they marked on youngmin's calendar anymore. when they talk, the older male seems to be unable to get him immediately like he used to and that became like the lighting matches to their little fights.

one night when donghyun waited into the night to see his husband, to feel his warm touch and his caress and the kisses and the blissful feeling of just being utterly in love, he was repaid with a tired gaze and a dismissive wave, followed by a groan and a sleeping youngmin. he knows he'd been with someone else when he reeked of another man's smell.

the attempts to have youngmin stay back to have breakfast with him became times when he sobbed on the floor next to the kitchen counter when the male left; worried phone calls being sent to voicemail without ever getting a call in return. even on days when they were both home, youngmin would rarely come out of his room, but he can hear him laughing with someone else on the phone.

donghyun had seen it coming. one day, he would have to let go of the man who was the sweetest to him, the one man that made him believe that despite facing all the discrimination in the world, the pain was worth it, and he will always be able to go home to the safety that was the goofy, loving and beautiful man's tight hold. but he didn't want that, of course. he's still so much in love with the man he married. he would never want to let go of youngmin without a fight.

woong, donghyun's best friend since they were younger, grew worried at his mental condition. he would start crying out of nowhere and disappear from work for a few days. he's barely ever seen him out with his husband anymore but said husband would later be seen going out with a slightly shorter and darker-skinned boy.

the second woong voiced his concern was when donghyun went to his house late one night, tears in his eyes and sniffling so sadly that his chest started to hurt. woong's heart was shattered to pieces at the sight of his best friend ending up like the wreck he was, kneeling down to hug the trembling man sobbing on his floor and crying along with him. all that for a man who stopped coming home to donghyun.

donghyun had locked himself in his room for a few days after that, not eating but occasionally he would be seen visiting the washroom. youngmin knows he should put an end to the younger male's suffering, tell donghyun in the face that, "yes, it happened. i fell out of love." but the thought of seeing the younger male break down in front of him was too much for him to handle. so he'd left the male alone and went on with his life.

donghyun ate alone at 8 on the night of his birthday. when his family called, he had smiled and pretended that everything was okay; that he was okay, and his relationship with youngmin was okay. his twin brother didn't buy his lie, having seen through his terrible acting the second it started. but since their parents sounded relieved, he had decided to just go along with it.

their shared apartment that once smelled like youngmin and donghyun, now solely housed donghyun's scent. a few pieces of his clothing would be gone from his rack. donghyun would cry into the big empty bed that youngmin finds his way into at 4 in the morning when he's already high up in dreamland, and even when they're on the same bed, there would always be a distance between them; youngmin facing away because he was scared of breaking donghyun's heart further, and donghyun not wanting to further ruin the relationship they once had.

that peaceful gap didn't last long. donghyun had had enough of this painful relationship dragging him to the ends of the earth. and when youngmin had the audacity to bring woojin home and slept with him right in the bed that they slept together in, all the memories, the goods and the bads; it crushed donghyun. and he has had enough. he has had enough of suffering alone in an endless battle of sorrow. 

so when youngmin wasn't home (again), donghyun had packed every trace of him and took it away from youngmin. he had left the silver band on the coffee table, along with the keys to the rented apartment and their vow of forever. he was tired. and as much as he'd promised the man he once loved and will continue to love, that they will be together forever, youngmin wanted him to let go, so he did.


End file.
